BIBLE READINGS: Revelation
5:11-14 John 21:1-19
SERMON
Peter, rash and brash, is the one on whom we can count to do what
he does best - to be impetuous and impulsive. From wanting a full body bath
from Jesus at the foot washing, to striding out of the garden and cutting off
the ear of Malchus, to getting dressed and jumping in
the lake to get to Jesus on the shore, yes, indeed, we’ve come to expect such
behaviour from Peter.
With this perspective in place, it’s easy to reduce the
conversation between Jesus and Peter in John 21 to a reinstatement of Peter’s
discipleship or an attempt at some kind of reconciliation for a relationship
gone bad. And so, it makes the most sense that this has to be the moment when
Jesus forgives Peter, in particular, forgiving Peter for the ultimate
foolishness and recklessness - denying Jesus when Jesus needed him most.
Except nowhere in the story does Jesus utter the words, “I forgive
you” because Peter hasn’t done anything deserving of Jesus’ forgiveness. No,
the person who needs to forgive Peter, is Peter himself.
Forgiveness is perhaps not the issue at all. We like to fall back
on it, frequently, assuming it’s that which is needed to fix a relationship,
especially to mend this specific relationship. But in this case, a little more
digging and some careful study reveals that what Peter needs is to accept who
Jesus needs him to be.
A rereading of Peter’s denial in John exposes his true rejection -
that of his own identity. The question asked of Peter is not, as it is in the
Synoptic Gospels, “do you know the man?” To which Peter responds, “I don’t know
the man.” Rather, in the Fourth Gospel, the inquiry posed to Peter is, “aren’t
you one of his disciples?” Peter’s response? “I AM not.”
As a result, the conversation between Jesus and Peter takes on a
completely different meaning. Jesus does not blame or shame Peter. Jesus does
not ask for Peter’s repentance. Jesus does not ask three times, “Peter, do you
love me?” to remind Peter of his three-fold denial, to test him or to trap him.
If any of that is true, that’s not the Jesus I know, I love, or in whom I
believe. Instead, Jesus reaffirms who Peter needs to be; the disciple Jesus
needs him to be. And the disciple Jesus needs Peter to be is the shepherd now.
No wonder Peter responded with “I AM not.”
Denying our identity is an all too often reality. We deny who we
are because we worry that we won’t meet expectations. We deny who we are
because we are afraid to disappoint. We deny who we are because we could be
judged, even rejected, for that truth. We deny who we are because we do not
believe that we will be liked for who we truly are, or that we will be loved
for who we truly are.
We play it safe around a lot of people in our lives, pretending,
and rightly so. Not everyone deserves our truth. Not everyone can be trusted
with our truth.
And, if this is the way we feel with people in our lives, even
those closest to us, I suspect the same would be true of our relationship with
Jesus.
Our first thought about Peter when it comes to the decision he had
to make around that charcoal fire is that he was terrified that what would
happen to Jesus would happen to him. Maybe Peter was wont to admit his identity
because he wasn’t ready yet - not that you ever can be, really. Maybe Peter
couldn’t affirm his identity because the garden was too fresh in his mind, too
painful, too personal. Maybe Peter was not able to say, “I AM” because he just
couldn’t believe it himself.
I wonder when, not if, we have felt the same. We just can’t
imagine that Jesus would commend us with being the good shepherd when he can no
longer be. We cannot believe that Jesus would trust us with making John 10:16
come true, “I have other sheep that are not of this fold.” We cannot believe
that Jesus could believe in us.
And so, Jesus shows up on that shore, hosts a meal one more time,
and tells Peter, tells us, “I believe in you. I know who you are and I love
you. And yes, you are exactly the disciple I need, the disciple the world
needs, for God to the world.”
Acknowledgement: Karoline Lewis